There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
