you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
