Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
