I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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