Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
