you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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