he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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