There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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