I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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