That's intense
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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