so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
