Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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