you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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