someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
