I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
