i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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