he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm just crazy horny about you
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
