You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
