I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
