So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
