i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
When are your genitals available?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
