her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
