there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
