my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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