I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
