We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
