Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
