The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
