I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize