Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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