Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
