He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize