He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
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I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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