addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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