At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm getting married
To pizza
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
