As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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