The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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