she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
