I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I need to stop coming to work sober
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
