i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize