It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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