I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
