i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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