we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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