I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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