So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
