Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
