We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
