Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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