Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
