took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize