Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
