Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and she was petting her beer can
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's always time for handjobs
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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