Can Purell be used as lube?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
