This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
