I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
