Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You pole danced in your parka.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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