ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
In America we eat man semen.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize