I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
