found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
