Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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