I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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