He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
