bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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