shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
