I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
